- Er is nauwelijks tijd voor jullie samen
- Werk, gezin of een bedrijf bepaalt jullie hele agenda
- Je voelt je kleiner in je relatie dan je eigenlijk bent
- Eén van jullie maakt zich groot, de ander past zich aan
- Je houdt dingen voor je om de rust te bewaren
- Gesprekken gaan alleen nog over planning en regelzaken
- Jullie praten wel, maar voelen je niet echt gehoord
- Je weet niet meer goed wat je zelf wilt in de relatie
STEL JE VOOR
Jullie merken op tijd dat de balans schuift. Jullie weten wat je kunt doen: even stilstaan, luisteren, iets weghalen uit de volle agenda. Jullie hebben allebei weer ruimte om jezelf te zijn, en er is weer tijd voor elkaar.
- Je voelt je weer even groot als je partner
- Jullie weten wat ieder van jullie nodig heeft
- Er is weer tijd en ruimte voor elkaar
- Jullie luisteren zonder meteen te reageren
- Je kunt weer helemaal jezelf zijn
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HET GAAT NIET OM WIE ER GELIJK HEEFT
Een relatie bestaat uit drie delen: jij, je partner en jullie context. Jullie context is alles om jullie heen, zoals werk, kinderen, familie en verplichtingen. Als het goed is, zijn die drie delen ongeveer even groot. Schommelen is normaal. Maar als één deel te groot wordt, gaat het wringen. Als een partner zich groter maakt, maakt de ander zich automatisch kleiner. Als de context te groot wordt, blijft er voor jullie allebei te weinig over. Geen van jullie is het probleem. De balans is het probleem, en die kunnen jullie samen herstellen.
DE KERNMETHODE
Deze videoles is gebaseerd op De Kernmethode van Bas Lammers. Een ruzie over de afwas gaat zelden over de afwas. De Kernmethode zoekt naar wat eronder zit: wat jullie ieder nodig hebben en welk patroon zich steeds herhaalt. Bas werkt daarvoor met NLP en systemisch werken. In deze les staat één vraag centraal: wat is mijn eigen aandeel, en hoe word ik onderdeel van de oplossing?
ZO WERKT DE GRATIS VIDEOLES
De videoles bestaat uit 5 korte video's en een afsluitvideo. Jullie kijken samen, zetten de video op pauze bij elke opdracht en werken in een invulbaar werkboek, op papier of op je telefoon of computer. Reken in totaal op ongeveer een uur.
De verhouding en mijn deel
jullie schrijven apart op wie je bent, wat je wilt en hoe de balans nu verdeeld is.
Luisteren zonder oordeel
om de beurt vertellen en alleen luisteren, zonder te reageren.
Mijn gevoelens en emoties
ieder schrijft op hoe je je voelt en wat je graag zou willen voelen.
Luisteren naar gevoelens
dezelfde luisteroefening, nu over gevoelens. Zo doorbreken jullie het patroon van al invullen wat de ander bedoelt.
Bewustwording en acceptatie
ieder kiest wat hij of zij zelf kan doen en een eerste kleine stap.
De verhouding en mijn deel
jullie schrijven apart op wie je bent, wat je wilt en hoe de balans nu verdeeld is.
Luisteren zonder oordeel
om de beurt vertellen en alleen luisteren, zonder te reageren.
Mijn gevoelens en emoties
ieder schrijft op hoe je je voelt en wat je graag zou willen voelen.
Luisteren naar gevoelens
dezelfde luisteroefening, nu over gevoelens. Zo doorbreken jullie het patroon van al invullen wat de ander bedoelt.
Bewustwording en acceptatie
ieder kiest wat hij of zij zelf kan doen en een eerste kleine stap.
WAT HET OPLEVERT
✓ Jullie zien hoe de balans tussen jou, je partner en jullie context nu verdeeld is
✓ Jullie weten wat ieder van jullie wil en voelt
✓ Jullie hebben echt naar elkaar geluisterd, zonder discussie
✓ Jullie zien je eigen aandeel, zonder schuldvraag
✓ Jullie hebben allebei een eerste concrete stap
Een patroon dat jaren is ingesleten, verander je niet in één avond. Verwacht geen wonderen, wel een eerste stap die je merkt.
Veelgestelde vragen
Is het echt gratis?
Ja. Je meldt je aan met je naam en e-mailadres en krijgt direct toegang. Je vult geen betaalgegevens in en er volgt geen proefperiode of automatisch abonnement.
Hoe krijgen we toegang?
Na je aanmelding ontvang je een e-mail met een link naar de online leeromgeving Huddle. Daar maak je een account aan en staan de video's en het werkboek voor jullie klaar.
Hoeveel tijd kost het?
In totaal ongeveer een uur. Jullie mogen het ook verdelen over meerdere avonden. Elke video is een afgerond deel.
Wat als mijn partner niet mee wil doen?
De opdrachten zijn bedoeld om samen te doen. Je kunt de eerste video ook eerst alleen bekijken en daarna samen beslissen of jullie verder gaan.
Kunnen we het op onze telefoon bekijken?
Ja. De video's werken op telefoon, tablet en computer. Het werkboek kun je printen of digitaal invullen in een PDF app.
Wat als er iets naar boven komt waar we samen niet uitkomen?
Dat kan gebeuren, en dat is niet erg. Neem dan gerust contact met me op voor een gratis en vrijblijvend kennismakingsgesprek, via WhatsApp of telefoon.
Is dit therapie?
Nee. Dit is coaching gericht op bewustwording en gedrag. Is er sprake van geweld, angst, een acute crisis of psychische klachten, dan is een hulpverlener de juiste plek.
Krijg ik daarna veel e-mails?
Je ontvangt de e-mail met je toegang. Heb je toestemming gegeven, dan stuur ik je af en toe een tip of aanbod. Afmelden kan altijd met één klik.
Wat als we verder willen?
Na de gratis videoles kunnen jullie doorgaan met de volledige online training van 5 modules, met werkboeken, begeleiding via WhatsApp, een online community en een live evaluatiegesprek. In de afsluitvideo krijgen jullie een kortingscode.
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